DISCRETE NEWS

I begin with a new week after having muttered a lot of flak for Ashish Nehra & for our Nature( for the former for proving that he is that version of Chetan Sharma which can actually pitch a cricket ball, even if that delivery happens to be a juicy & blue half volley capable of being bumped off out of the park even by the likes of Tim Henman & Ashish Nehra himself ; and for the latter for being very cruel to the Japanese people), I understand that we have a match  up with Australia & there will be lot of aftershocks of the magnitude enough to shake up an elephant or a belly filled python. We need to keep a portion of all that flak for further use on Ashish Nehra. Because if common sense prevails amongst you & me & in general we all, we must understand that ‘a lazy, totally unfit, unusually tall & exceptionally thin with teeth (protruding ones) that resemble to those of Badnaam Munni’ won’t learn to bowl banana-swinging Yorkers in the matter of 5-6 days. It is said that the Aussies are at their worst condition since the retirement of Mark Waugh i.e. since 2002. Though this Australian side does not intimidate the world with the names like Gilchrist, Warne, Mcgrath, Hayden & Martyn, they surely have a lot of match winners like Cameron White, Watson, Lee & Hussey. The Aussies can not be taken lightly. They are not their usual Invisibles, but they still continue to be good. And our bowling still continues to be an embarrassment of that magnitude as it has been all these years, if not more.

This week’s most important news is undoubtedly that coming from our South India. Chiranjeevi, the star who’s known for his on screen persona of being someone who fights against corruption, injustice, dowry, crime & rape, has been caught on the wrong side of the dangerously flowing deathly river. To cut the entire story & my tedious way of presenting it short, Chiranjeevi’s son has been accused for dowry harassment. My advice to his son, better give in writing a public apology, in case the bigger star, Rajni knows about this & there’s an earthquake in India followed by a tsunami.

Also, the super talented Uday Chopra wins (finally) an award at the Golden Kela Awards. Well, there can’t be bigger news than this. Mind you, it is not the only reason Uday Chopra keeps trending on Twitter. We all love him, don’t we?

And to abruptly put an end to this absolute non sense I have put in this post, let me add to it about the fact that I have resigned from my professional duties to practically do nothing in future, apart from watching hot movies, downloading more hot movies & then watching some more hot movies. And yes! Now that I have nothing to do, I can read daily Shobhaa De’s blog to have my share of enough laughter that will in turn keep me super fit, just like our dearest Shobhaa.

LATER.

I RESIGN!!!!!

Dear Boss,

                I take this awesome opportunity to tell you that I resign from YOUR & my duties. I had this great tempting to address this one to quite a few co-workers; and then display this on the notice board at the plant entrance. But, considering one of our values of our company viz. EMPATHY, I have decided not to carry out this public face-smash and instead send this letter to you, only. But, I also take this opportunity to warn you that I may keep a few bigger thugs in the CC & BCC options, an important lesson you have taught me.

When I shall think of you in future, though the likelihood of me remembering you seems highly unlikely, one sentence will always come to my mind, 

“IT TAKES THOUSANDS OF NUTS TO MAKE A CAR, BUT JUST ONE TO SMASH IT ALL OVER THE PARK!”

                Let me make you realize how lovely I feel as I write this letter to you. See this picture below; imagine that I am the kid & you are the wall.

What I considered to be a normal dust gunk under the mouse of our shared PC at the office was found to be, after keen study, your residual & now fully grounded boogers. This has been a sort of an epiphany, to prompt me to resign, apart from several other things on which I can dedicate a book upon.

I wanted to write much more. But, I came across this.

And I decided to put my sword down.

   

Regards,

Ameya AB.

PS: I have my exit interview lined up in today’s schedule. I am gonna suggest them a major cost cutting option. And I guess you have a fairly good idea what is it.  

LATER.

DISCRETE WC BULLETIN

News from Karachi is that the use of the above consumer product has been banned in Pakistan with immediate effect as on 08 03 2011. 

Yet, there is a 'feel good' environment in Pakistan especially after what the Pakistanis were made to see by Shoaib Akhtar yesterday. He has been quick to adjust himself in the role of a support off spinner for Pakistan. This extra spinner will give them an edge specially against matches that are not played against Canada as the other countries have batsmen with an acumen to know that Afridi doesn't turn the cricket ball much. 

A lot is expected from Akhtar-the offie as the Pakistanis are damn sure he can be anyways better than Shoaib  Malik, who can only do a bit of top spin and that too with a Yonex racket in his hand.

While in India, there is still an element of doubt in the minds of all Indians about the HELICOPTER shot, the DOOSRA and the PALTI HIT. The Helicopter shot has apparently lost fuel, the doosra has been long lost and the PALTI HIT is back to the Great Britain. 

One can hardly remember Piyush Chawla claiming a wicket off his leg break delivery. I hope he does not get dropped out of the side for this, just like in the case of Ajit Agarkar for his notoriety of being a bowler too-friendly to the likes of Ross taylor, Chris Gayle, Gilchrist and Mccullum.

The pre-match  telecast on Star Cricket, that is hosted by Harsha Bhogle, is not all farce, I feel. Today, they had a guy on their show, who said " If you have Ashish Nehra as your second best bowler of your side, you know you have serious troubles ahead!" 

LATER. 

Indians are the last living Britishers.

On another day, somebody on Fb forwarded to me a link of a 10 min video extract of a speech given by J.P.Narayan (founder of Lok Satta Movement in A.P.). While I haven't paid much attention to the details of the time and place and the occasion, on which he snapped in his speech in the round table conference, what really struck me at once was the fact that J.P. made a lot of sense. A few glib talkers have this duple quality of being precise and be reasonable.(e.g.Harsha Bhogle)

In that video, J.P. made a point where he mentioned about the present day election voting mechanism used by our election commission. While stressing on the inanity in persisting with the British-stylized voting system, he mentioned that even the brits have shown resistance to it. But, India remains unperturbed. This overhaul JUST doesn't matter to India.

We, and perhaps most of the nations, have blindly followed a few conceptions laid by a few dominant countries. E.g. the traffic rules, the education system, work cultures under the banner of PROFESSIONALISM (which in India is another word for intemperate and fucksome politics that is well backed up by cut throat competition and ever-getting-slender opportunities.) And the epitome of this exacting imitation is probably our LAW.

Our nation is now nicely supported by the Manufacturing sector for taking the nation towards realizing its goal (selected by one man and hardly followed by the rest) to become a developed nation by 2020. Yet, the manufacturing sector depends upon the systems prescribed by the oligarchic philosophies laid by the Americans and the Japanese. To be more correct, these systems have been conceptualized by the Americans, implemented first in Japan, and then followed by the rest nations and finally screwed up to its limits by China. (In China, there seems no batch or job productivity; there is only one basic system, MASS PRODUCTIVITY; to flood the world with MADE IN CHINA items.) Very few industrialists have ever really validated the REAL potential of the above productivity systems in the Indian scenario. Does TPS, JIT, TOC, Lean Manufacturing, Kaizen, Pokayoke, 2 Bins, etc. really work here? Does it really have in it to take the indianness of the Indi-Mfg sector to the level where the Americans and the Japanese have been dwelling post the World War II?

  Just came across this. 

 “ATITHI DEVO BHAVA!”

Our few cricketers and their captain did exactly the same to the Brit batsmen; with the same heartfelt gesture that it is seen in this picture on the face of our chachaji.




LATER.