The office doer comes in the conference hall with coffee cups in his hands. Four of them. Of course, he opens the door with his waist. I hope he does not spill some coffee on the table or the floor as common. It has been just 10 minutes in the meeting and already 2-3 officers have noticed my ennui. The GM's not in a good mood today, I sense. His open eyes, zero yawning, too-many-adjustments in the chair while sitting, and grave expressions are enough to indicate that he has received from his senior what they call it in the local manufacturing argot as "BAMBOO DAALA" .
After an hour through the meeting, it is now the AGM's turn ( whom I have mentioned in the past in some earlier post) to present the WEEKLY REVIEW of his department. He gets off his seat. Searches frantically his shirt pocket for the pen drive. I am more worried he might just end up ripping apart that pocket. Not just the Pen Drive, but the ciggy packet in it would be out for every one to see then, I think.
The AGM gets ready! He is already sweating buckets. The 19th-century-128-MB-ID or SATA-RAM-PC detects the USB after a considerable amount of time. The GM delivers an array of unprintables by then, cursing the computer for its pace. It is almost as if the GM struck a MC-BC attack. It was as natural and unexpected as an untimely hiccup.
The PPT file is open now. The first slide reads 'WELCOME'. A welcome after an hour through the meeting. LOVELY start. The AGM is maneuvering the mouse to no avail. The POINTER isn't moving by a pixel space. Since I am RESTing in the next seat to him, the AGM is quick to summon me over to look into the MATTER. I check the mouse connections. It's done. The mouse is ready. The AGM takes hold of the mouse. Does right-click-left-click-file-menu-edit-view-slide show steer as usual. Helpless, he again summons over his MAN FRIDAY (me) for help. F5 and the slide show starts.
For the AGM, the computer is a big PARESHAANI. He gives a trademark WELCOME start to his presentation. I am told to time the slides and change them as and when told to do so.
Here comes the second slide:
And something has happened. OOO GOOSSHH!
I am perplexed. All that drowsiness, slumberous, sleepy feeling is gone in a minute. In fact, my eyes are wide open like nothing and anything.
The slide no.2
'SMOOTH SUPPLY CHAIN MANAGEMENT' was the intended text.
BLUNDER. A big one.
The GM's face had turned red. I anticipated another MA-BEHEN attack. His BIG nose had turned red now. He put off his specs. In disgust. I looked around to see the reaction of the members attending the meet. Of course, the youngsters could not control laughter. They somehow managed the laughter, but could not avoid a smile, a tight lipped one.
The AGM quickly tried to cover the blunder.
" My Mistake. It is SMOOTH and not 'WHAT IS IT?'" he said and looked straight at me, hoping I would change the slide quickly. Of course, the AGM wasn't aware and ever heard of the word SMOOCH.
The GM looked up and finally, he himself, could not help but laugh. Soon, his gentle laugh turned into a boisterous uncontrollable jape. Every one joined in. I hoped it was not a situation similar to the KITNE AADMI THE situation in SHOLAY, where the Chief villain begins, others join in and suddenly, KALIYA and others are no more.
The GM JUST did not stop. Now, he was holding his enormous belly. Such laughter hurt his stomach. He started coughing eventually. Now, the coughing did not stop. His face had turned more red now. He gestured, waving his hands. I thought he wanted to go home. HOSPITAL, he yelled, finally. He was taken to the hospital. Of course, he is fine. At the hospital, he did not allow any of us to pay a visit to him. Not because he was super critical and all, but because he feared he would laugh out again.
Over and above, SMOOCHING is fun, and can be dangerous too!
LATER!
